Torn

I believe alot of you who have been reading my blog have wondered why I have so suddenly stopped blogging.

Ever since I came back from my mission trip, I have lost the interest to blog. The other day, as I stared blankly at my publishing page, I realised I didn't have anything to say to the world. Nothing. My mind was completely blank.

I gave up and went for a walk. To get some fresh air, to think about the days that had passed me by, to think about the life I had lived.

The old blog, was a place that I could pour out my heart to anyone who wanted to hear. It was a place where i could entertain my audience, a place that would macke people laugh, a place to make people think. About ME, myself and I.

Sometimes, I thought about writing things inside to talk about Christianity. Sometimes, I'd post irrelevant things.

And today as i took a stroll in the park. All I did ever, with that blog, was to entertain people. What would Jesus have done with linguistic skills like mine? Would he have written a blog to entertain? or to edify? Would it have been a blog to rant and judge others? or a blog to lift up spirits and share the burderns of fellow men?

I felt broken.

Ever since then, I was determined to make a new blog. A blog that that others could see my sufferings and take delight in. A blog that could serve to edify others. A blog that people could come to.. to find encouragement in their daily Christian lives. More importantly, a blog for me to turn to... when i need to remind myself once more.. of the work he has done in my life, of the love he has shown me.

And this blog was born.

Do not get me wrong. I am not judging those of you who keep daily acounts of your lives. I am judging myself. Because I realise the need to deny myself once again. To take my cross to follow Jesus. If I have offended you in any way. Please forgive me.